Afraid, Lonely, and a bit lazy.
That was before I met Christ. Before I really met Him anyway…
I grew up going to church with my family. My Latino grandfather worked hard to create the American Dream for the next generation and he did, but it didn’t matter.
I had it all:
- A stable childhood
- Stay at home mom who always took care of me when I was sick
- A father who took me on adventures
- Big housed
- Lots of stuff
- Dozens of pets
- 3 Bibles
- Nothing major ever happen
It didn’t matter
My dad said he â€œled me through the sinners prayerâ€ when I was seven. Shoot, I had even repented and fell on my knees before God after reading the Left Behind book series.
It didn’t matter
When high school came I did what everybody else did. I drank, had sex, watched porn, vandalized, lied, snuck out, and flunked out. I had heard of Jesus and if somebody would have asked me what I believed I would have told them I was a Christian. I even went to youth group sometimes.
Nothing worked. Nothing satisfied. The doctors diagnosed me with depression, but the pills didn’t work either. I went from pill to pill as I fell asleep listening to System of a Down. Down became the norm.
Then God showed up
Half way through high school in one of my lowest moments I could hear Him whisper:
â€œHey, how’s life workin out for yaâ€ I shrugged my shoulders and looked at the ground knowing full well he knew the answer. I could almost feel Him nod to my thoughts. â€œWhy don’t you try my way out for a bit and see what happensâ€…
I wish I could tell you everything got better after that, but it didn’t. Old habits die hard, but they do die. I struggled to make sense of that little kid devotional Bible I still had and I tried again and again to talk to God.
He was enough. Jesus was enough
One at a time the habits died and I stopped taking the meds after a year. Some parts of the Bible even made sense and I could almost see Gods smile even when I stumbled.
Since then, He has made all the difference. Eventually the Bible became more entertaining than movies and you begin to long for prayer. After high school I went to Teen Mania’s Honor Academy for a season of intense spiritual, emotional, and mental growth. Then to Colorado for school where I met and married my wife. I brought her back to Texas where I now work on staff at Teen Mania.
It is just the beginning.
I’m only 23 and life is just beginning. I have big dreams and God has LARGER ones. Life doesn’t get easier and it isn’t always clear, but now it matters.
He matters. What matters to you?